


Eyes on Me

by ZoisiteMoon



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Domestic Violence, F/F, F/M, Homophobia, Meet-Cute, Multi, Murder-Suicide, Queer Themes, School Shootings, Slice of Life, Transgender, Transphobia, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2018-05-12 04:31:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5652550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZoisiteMoon/pseuds/ZoisiteMoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sapphire has always wanted to make it big, but she never expected to share her dream with someone special.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

All my life, it's been my dream to perform on stage not only for myself, but for everyone. I just stand there, breathing heavily while a layer of sweat starts forming on my face. My good eye is looking up at the sky, asking the Lord for guidance, but it soon relaxes and goes right back into place. I'm too consumed by my own nerves to focus properly, but then someone calls out to me.

"Sapphire?" I hear a familiar soprano ask me.

I turn around to see my dear friend Pearl.

"What is it, Pearl?" I ask back.

"You ready to go on stage?"

I slowly nod my head while simultaneously trying to mask my lingering anxiety.

"Alright, let's go." Pearl takes my hand and leads me through the curtains out onto the high school auditorium stage. "Oh and don't worry if you choke out there, Sapphire. I'll be right here if you need to bail out."

"Thanks, Pearl."

I watch her sink back through the curtains, leaving me to deal with the hundreds of people who will surely become my fanbase. Now's my chance! As soon as the music starts playing, I start to sing into the microphone, but I'm not sure if words are coming out at this point or if I'm just rambling nonsense. Finally, after a couple seconds, my voice becomes more coherent, more fluid and I start singing full sentences.

_Whenever I sang my songs_

_On the stage, on my own;_

_Whenever I said my words,_

_Wishing they would be heard,_

_I saw you smiling at me._

_Was it real or just my fantasy?_

_You'd always be there in the corner_

_Of this tiny little bar._

To my surprise, some of the members in the audience flock to the edge of the stage. They seem eager to hear what else I have to say. So I give them what they want.

_My last night here for you,_

_Same old songs, just once more._

_My last night here with you?_

_Maybe yes, maybe no._

_I kind of liked it your way,_

_How you shyly placed your eyes on me._

_Did you ever know_

_That I had mine on you?_

"Sing it, girl!" a woman yells from within the crowd.

I can barely see her out of the corner of my good eye, but she appears to have bushy, curled hair and is quite muscular. There's something about her that makes my heart leap, but I keep going and just hope that she doesn't notice me blushing.

_Darling, so there you are,_

_With that look on your face._

_As if you're never hurt,_

_As if you're never down._

_Shall I be the one for you_

_Who pinches you softly but sure?_

_If frown is shown then,_

_I will know that you are no dreamer._

The woman looks as though she's blushing too, but it's hard to tell given the rosaceous lighting on stage. I'm only halfway through the song and my mind's starting to wander already. Well, that's what I get for being a chronic daydreamer my entire life; still, the show must go on. I get right back to what I came here to do, trying my very best not to let my nerves get ahold of me again.

_So let me come to you,_

_Close as I wanna be._

_Close enough for me_

_To feel your heart beating fast_

_And stay there as I whisper_

_How I loved your peaceful eyes on me._

_Did you ever know_

_That I had mine on you?_

Now the woman seems wholly convinced that I'm singing this song just for her. I don't know why, either. Maybe it's because she's infatuated with me or this song is touching her in a way that is delightfully ineffable at best and vaguely nostalgic at worst. I'm willing to bet it's both. So for the rest of the performance, I keep her in my mind as I continue to fill the auditorium with my voice.

_Darling, so share with me_

_Your love if you have enough,_

_Your tears if you're holding back,_

_Or pain if that's what it is._

_How can I let you know_

_I'm more than the dress and the voice?_

_Just reach me out then_

_You would know that you are not dreaming._

_Darling, so there you are_

_With that look on your face._

_As if you're never hurt,_

_As if you're never down._

_Shall I be the one for you_

_Who pinches you softly but sure?_

_If frown is shown then,_

_I will know that you are no dreamer._

As soon as I've uttered the last lines, the crowd erupts with praise and admiration. I feel whole.

****

"Oh my gosh, you were great!" I hear someone yell.

I turn around to see that it's the same woman who caught my attention earlier. What are the odds?

"Oh, uh, thanks," I reply gratefully. "Are you familiar with what I do at all?"

"Not really," she says. "I only came because my friend Rose wanted to see how I'd like the new talents. I guess it worked because I fell in love with you immediately."

"As an artist or a person?"

"Artist." She pauses for about three seconds. "By the way, I'm Ruby Harvey."

"Sapphire Dahl." I reach out for her extended hand and firmly grasp it. "Nice to meet you."

We shake hands, only to find that our handshake is a little awkward for us to handle so we pull away a few seconds later.

"So... you wanna meet up later?" I ask shyly.

"Sure!" she replies eagerly.

"Great, I'll just give you my phone number." I take out a business card-sized piece of paper and quickly write my home phone number down. Then I hand it over to her as soon as I'm finished.

"Here you go."

"Thanks. See ya around!"

"You too."


	2. Chapter 2

"So how'd you do?" Pearl asks me.

"I did great, Pearl," I answer with a big smile. "There was a woman in the audience who seemed to like me."

"Really? Did you meet up with her?"

"Yeah. She seemed really nice. I even gave her my phone number."

"Oh, uh, are you sure that was a good idea?"

"Well, why not? She wants to meet with me again. I think that was her way of asking me out."

"Okay, but I think you should have me tag along... y'know, just in case."

"Pearrrrllll!" a masculine voice cries out.

"Oh no," she groans. "Hide me, Sapphire."

"Why?" I ask.

"Just do it!"

"Okay, okay!"

I let her hide beneath my long, bleached, poofy hair as a pink-skinned man anxiously enters the room.

There's a fringe of brown hair upon his bald head and he has a pointed nose that makes him look like Richard Nixon. It doesn't help that he has a massive forehead and a small baby-like chin.

"Pearl?" he asks aloud. He doesn't see her. "Oh, thank God you're here. Have you seen Pearl?"

I shake my head no. I can sense that Pearl is dreading his presence here, so I do my best to get him to go away.

"Are you sure you haven't seen her?" he asks again.

"Yes, Mr. Dewey," I answer.

"My father was Mr. Dewey. Please, call me Bill." There's an awkward pause for about five seconds. "Well, when you see her, just tell her I said hi."

"Will do, sir."

He leaves the same way he came: anxious and desperate for something he feels he's entitled to.

"So what'd he want?" I ask Pearl curiously.

"Ugh, he wanted to take me to dinner just so he could ask me to take him back." she explains.

"Why were you dating him anyway?"

"Well, I was pretty young and stupid back then... and I _was_ a student in his class."

"Ooh, that must've caused quite a scandal." I bounce my eyebrows up and down like a pervert. "I could totally understand why your parents wouldn't like you dating a man about twenty years older than you."

"Yeah." She laughs uncomfortably. "I got an earful when they first found out about it."

It's then that the conversation abruptly ends. I have to think of something, fast!

"So, uh, about that date..." I begin. "Can you help me get ready?"

"Oh, sure!" Pearl beams up like a beacon of light. "I just need you to let me pick out your makeup. Why don't we go over to my house and do it?"

"Okay."

"Well, c'mon! Let's go!"


	3. Chapter 3

As soon as we've reached her house, Pearl knocks on the front door and waits for her mother to open up. We wait for twenty seconds before her mother finally nudges open the door and sees us.

"Pearl, I thought you said you'd be home by nine," she says. "Do I need to set your curfew back by another hour?"

"No, no, Mom," Pearl answers desperately. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to bring Sapphire over."

"Well, next time, you should tell me about these kind of things. Anyway, we invited Rainbow's Mythology professor over for dinner so I need you two to be on your best behavior."

"Yes, Mom."

****

Pearl and I sit near one end of the dining room table while her mother sits at the other end, her older twin sisters Opal and Rainbow sit opposite each other, her quadruplet sisters uncomfortably close to one another, and the Mythology professor right where we're sitting.

"I keep forgetting," Opal suddenly says to me. "Are you, like, Chinese or something?"

"Opal!" Pearl hushedly chides her.

"It's okay, Pearl," I assure my friend. "I'm used to it by now. Anyway, I'm mostly black with some Japanese and Vietnamese thrown in there."

"Oh..." Opal says. "Okay. It's just hard for me to tell Asians apart."

I seethe at that comment. How can this woman be so stupid that she thinks all Asians look the same? I've heard her spout out some pretty bullshit things before, but nothing like this. Fortunately, the Mythology professor tells her off better than I ever could.

"Not all Asians look alike, Opal," he explains. "I mean, we've got Indians, Cambodians, Filipinos, Indonesians, Laotians, and Sri Lankans and they look nothing like the Japanese or the Taiwanese. They don't even share the same gods! Maybe I'll show you and Rainbow around Southeast Asia sometime."

"Oh, Professor Walsh," Rainbow sighs dreamily. "You've always had such a way with words."

"Careful, Rainbow," Professor Walsh warns her. "You don't want to open a whole new can of worms, do you?"

Rainbow quickly shakes her head, eager to please the man she seems to love. I can't tell who's going on between them beyond just their relationship as a teacher and student, but if I ask anything about it, I'm afraid I'll come off as nosy. Anyway, Pearl leans over and asks, "Would now be a good time to give you makeup tips?"

"Might as well," I sigh and shrug apathetically. "Dinner won't be ready for a while."

****

Pearl has my hair pulled back so that I can gaze at my own face in the mirror.

My grayish-blue eyes, both real and fake, look as radiant as they've ever been. Only my left eye is real, by the way, but my right eye is just a glass replica meant to take up whatever space was left when the doctors removed my cancer. There are times where I wish I could fully see the world for myself and not have to see only half of what happens. My face has seen better days, though; there's a bit of a breakout near the right temple and just barely stretching out to an eyebrow, but hey, that's why they invented foundation. Still, my olive skin never ceases to amaze me; it's kind of jarring against how my hair looks now, but otherwise I don't mind.

"What kind of mascara do you usually use?" Pearl asks me.

I think about it for a minute before coming up with an answer. "I believe I like Covergirl the most."

"Really? You seem more like somebody who would use Revlon."

"Nah, man, Revlon just isn't it for me."

"Well, lots of black girls I know use Revlon."

"That's just the girls you know, though. We're talking about me."

"I know, I know." She walks away to the bathroom she shares with her sisters for about a minute and a half before coming back with Rimmel mascara.

"Here's one of the bajillion mascaras Coral, Marigold, and Sky never bother using. Once I show you how to use it, you can take it home and keep it for as long as you want."

"Sounds good to me."

I start applying it to my good eye first, but my hand is shaking the entire time I do this. I don't know why, but I think I'm afraid I might accidentally jab it into my cornea. As soon as I've finished touching up my eyes, I turn around to look at Pearl so she can see my handiwork.

"Well?" I ask quietly.

Pearl looks over me once, her face scrunched in concentration, before she finally says something.

"Eh, it's okay," she answers. "But it looks a little amateurish."

"Well, excuse me for being half-blind," I deadpan. "Now can you show me how you put on mascara?"

"Oh, no problem, but pay close attention. Every little movement I make is important."

"Alright."


	4. Chapter 4

The next night, I start getting ready for my date with Ruby. I go over all the mascara techniques Pearl taught me in my head before deciding on one I think will suit me best: only applying as much of the mascara as I can to my top lashes, slowly and gracefully. I look over my handiwork for a bit, hoping I won't see any blemishes or clumps or smears that could drive me over the wall. Thankfully, I don't, so I move on to applying my lipstick and glossing them over as tenderly as possible; hopefully, Ruby will take notice of this and not have to focus on anything else during our date.

Speaking of Ruby, oh, I cannot stop thinking about her! That bushy hair, those firm but greatly defined muscles, that... that brown skin! They all go together to make the most amazing woman on the planet, no, make that the universe. I just... wait, where did that come from? I must've just gotten a bit excited, yeah.

Anyway, now that I've applied pretty much all of my makeup, I then move on to what outfit I'm going to wear. I know that it has to get her attention somehow, but I can't figure out for the life of me which one I should go with. There's only so many I can choose from. However, I'm starting to lose some time before I go on that date, so I settle on an electric blue feathery blouse and some black leather pants, plus some sky-high indigo heels and a newsboy cap that I swear came from Jenny on the Block.

Aw, great. Ruby's probably going to think I'm some kind of tramp or something. It's just a date, though, right? What should matter is the person inside me, not out.

******

"So..." Ruby begins. "You look gorgeous tonight."

Oh my God, she has noticed. I hope she doesn't see me blushing.

"Thank you," I reply gracefully. "I like to spend my time. Time is effort, after all. "

"I can see that. What about me, though? Do I look, uh, feminine enough for this?"

It's then that I suddenly realize that she's just wearing a red hoodie and some acid-washed jeans that have several holes in them. "You look fine, Ruby. I don't see why you have to ask."

"Well, there's something I want to bring up now before we run into any problems. Now I know we've only known each other for, like, a couple days, but I just wanted to make sure you knew this in case we make it to first base."

"Oh, o-okay. What is it you want to tell me?"

Ruby takes a deep breath and blinks once before she can gather up the courage to confess to me. "Sapphire, I'm a transgendered woman."

My mouth hangs open at this and I lose the ability to speak for a while. Ruby tilts her head at me, anxiously waiting for my response, but I remain speechless. There's a brief flash of frustration in the center of her pupils and they shrink immediately after. I can only guess that she thinks I'll be worried or ready to run, so I better speak up.

"Sapphire?" There's uncertainty in her voice. "I-I didn't upset you, did I?"

Finally, I seize my chance. "No, I'm just processing what you told me, that's all. I honestly wouldn't have known."

"Of course you wouldn't have known. You can't just assume someone is cis or trans from a mile away, you know. You gotta ask these things."

"I know, I know." Before the conversation can delve any deeper on Ruby's identity, the waiter comes by with our food. "So what extracurricular activities are you doing right now?"

"I play football for one," she says. "I'm a quarterback."

"A quarterback, huh? I'm sure with biceps like yours, you could give Olympians a run for their money."

She gives a nervous laugh. "Well, I don't know about that, but my muscles certainly are contenders for the gun show." She flexes for a bit and swivels her torso around so I can get the full view.

I giggle at the way she exhibits her cockiness. Even when she's underdressed, it still amazes me just how ravishing she is. I mean, holy shit, her face is like a wooden carving with those pronounced cheekbones and that square jaw and- oop, there I go again.

"What are you giggling at?"

"Oh, nothing. I just think it's funny how big your ego is, that's all."

"Well, you know how hard it is to be me."

"Of course I do." I then dig into my lemon shrimp pasta, savoring every goddamn lemony bite this dish has to offer. "Aren't you going to eat your steak panini?"

"In a minute, Sapphy."

I almost gasp out loud. Did she just call me what I think she just called me? I try not to think about it too much; after all, the only people who've ever called me "Sapphy" are my parents.

"Alright, Ruby. Take your time."


	5. Chapter 5

Ruby and I have just gotten back to her place. I gotta say, for a quarterback, the place looks rather decent and not at all sordid like I'd expected.

The floor is a shiny mahogany wood and the walls have some paint that appears to be peeling off, but is otherwise in good condition. There's a "Breakfast at Tiffany's" poster on the wall, some pictures of her and her teammates on a shelf, some furniture that I swear came from the '70s (probably because some of it is bright orange and the rest looks like someone was tripping balls while utilizing a floral pattern), a picture of her with two other brown-skinned, frizzy-haired women who happen to be identical twins; a picture of who I can only assume is her mother, and lastly a sports trophy from way back when. For some reason, I focus my attention on the picture with her and the twins.

"Who are those girls you're with?" I ask curiously.

"Huh?" she sounds. "Oh, you mean these gorgeous Puerto Rican beauties? They're Scarlett and Merlot Ramos, and they just so happen to be my girlfriends."

"Wait a minute, you're already in a relationship? Then why would you ask me out?"

"Oh, I didn't mean like an actual relationship. It's more of a friends-with-benefits sort of deal than anything, really."

"I see..." A wave of resentment is still rising within me, like those girls are somehow getting in the way. I know that's not the case, but I still don't like how Ruby just talked about them like that. Could it be that I'm starting to feel jealous? "Well, don't you think there should be more to a relationship than just sex?"

This manages to get her flustered up a bit. "Well, yeah, of course. I mean, Rose seems pretty happy with your bestie Pearl and they've only been dating for three weeks."

"They have?"

"Yeah, but that's not the point. The point is, I want you. And I want you more than anything on this goddamn planet, Sapphire. You're sweet, you're clever, you're funny, and you're also very passionate about what you do. So, uh, will you-"

"Yes."

"Wait a minute, you didn't let me finish. Will you-"

"Yes."

"Hold on. Will you be my-"

"Yes."

She sighs in frustration. "Sapphire, please. Just let me finish."

"Alright, alright."

"Okay. Will you be my girlfriend?"

I don't hesitate to give her an answer. "Yes. Yes to the moon and back."

"Great! How's about we celebrate with a drink?"

"Sounds good to me. I've been dying to get my hands on some Pinot anyway."

*****

I've just come to. My head is pounding, the room is spinning all around me, and it seems like I just puked a bit in my mouth. I try to look around without letting the dizziness get to me. All I can register is that Ruby and I are in the bedroom and sharing a bed together. Wait... what happened here? Did we actually do it or what?

Suddenly, Ruby starts coming to as well. "Ugh, what happened last night?" she asks groggily.

"You tell me. I don't remember a goddamn thing."

She briefly looks to see something white stuck to my thighs. "Oh my God... I can't believe it."

"Believe what?"

"I actually came inside you. Oh my God, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. I can't believe it! What are we going to do?!"

"Well, we're girlfriends now, aren't we? I mean, I know we moved a little fast, but we'll be in this together and that's all that matters."

"Y-You really think so?"

I firmly rest my hand on her cheek, which feels warm to the touch. "Of course. I can just see it now..."


	6. Chapter 6

"So... how'd the date go?" Pearl asks me.

"It was amazing," I tell her with all the wonder I can muster up in my voice.

"Really? So I'm guessing you didn't need me after all?"

"Wait, it gets better! When Ruby and I went back to her place, she asked me if I wanted to be her girlfriend."

"After the first date? That... that seems a little fast."

"I know, it was a lot for me to take in too. And guess what I said? Yes!"

"Uh..."

"I'm sure you've got your doubts, Pearl, but I just know Ruby and I are meant to be! Besides, think of all the double dates you and Rose could have with us."

"How'd you know I was going out with Rose? Who told you?!"

"Ruby did, but then everybody can see it. It's like Rose isn't even trying to be subtle about it."

Now I can see how flabbergasted Pearl is getting. "Goddamnit, Sapphire! Rose and I were going to tell you ourselves! We had a schedule planned out and everything!"

"Since when does Rose plan things exactly?"

"Well, I had a schedule planned out but-" She clears her throat. "Anyway, congratulations on your new relationship. I hope it'll last a lifetime..."

I give off a radiant, optimistic smile. "Me too, Pearl. Me too."

****

Ever since that night, Ruby and I have been seeing each other as much as we can. It's always so exciting whenever we meet up because just looking at her is enough to get my mind racing and my heart cranking. Still, I can't help but notice how nauseous I've been feeling lately. I think I know what it is, but I can't be sure yet. It's almost like butterflies in my stomach, except they're not so much grazing past the lining as they are just taking a suicide dive into my stomach acid. And if it's not that that has me suspicious, then it must be the fact that I haven't been getting my period at all lately.

Anyway, I'm just trying to be discreet about my new relationship to my father because... well, how do I put this? He's not really a fan of the LGBT community, so I can only imagine how upset he'd be if he found out that his only daughter was a lesbian.

As for my mother, her stance on LGBT people is fairly moderate. She doesn't hate them like my dad seems to, but she's not in love with them either. At worst, she just seems to tolerate them. I wonder how she might feel if I come out to her.

Alright, enough pondering. I've been feeling beside myself today (more so than earlier this week), having lost control over my sense of gravity and all, so I've just been laying in bed and waiting for the vertigo-like nausea to go away. As thoughts of Ruby and her hot muscular body cascade through my head, I can't help but smile. If I am indeed carrying her child, then I'll be glad to have Ruby by my side while I bring it into the world.

Urk, uh oh! I think I'm about to puke! I quickly scurry over to my bathroom and let it all out in the toilet. About a few seconds later, I hear someone softly knock at my door. I figure out right away that it's my mother.

"Honey?" she calls out to me from the other side. "Are you alright in there? Do you need me to get you anything?"

"No!" I yell out in response. "I'm fine!"

"You don't sound fine."

"But I am!"

"No, you're not. Now I'm going to get you some ginger ale and a few paper towels, and you can just stay in there. I'll be back."

I hear her footsteps fade away into silence while my arms rest on the rim. I'll have to tell her about this eventually, but I can't bear the thought of what Dad might do if he finds out I slept with another woman, much less a trans woman. So for now, I'll just have to keep this a secret.


	7. Chapter 7

As much as I hate to admit it, part of me is still unsure about this whole situation. I mean, yeah, Ruby and I do love each other and we did have the most amazing sex, but our relationship does seem to be moving a little faster than I guess what many people would consider to be "normal." Still, it fills me with joy to know that I might be having her baby; the only thing that could make this better is if we could raise it together without any judgmental glances. But that might just be wishful thinking.

Now that I feel a little better today, I think it'd be nice if I could spend some time with Ruby and our friends. And what better place to hang out at than the Big Donut?

So I whip out my smartphone and type in Ruby's phone number, my heart already beating like a hummingbird's wings and my mind swimming with thoughts towards the future. It always amazes me just how much I adore this woman and everything she stands for; it amazes me even more so that she feels the same way. I try to keep cool while I wait for her to pick up. It takes a while, but eventually I can hear from the other side.

"Hey, Sapphire," Ruby squeaks out. "I was just thinking about you."

"Me too," I reply. "Hey, listen, you wanna come with me to the Big Donut? Yes, our groupies can come too."

"How'd you know I was going to ask?"

"Just a hunch."

"Yeah, okay. Sure, I'll come with. Any particular reason?"

"Not really. I just needed an excuse to see you."

"Really? Aw, shucks. That's pretty sweet of you, Sapphy."

And I just smile at this, knowing that behind a mask of arrogance is the very embodient of dorkiness. "Thanks, Rube, you dork."

"W-what'd you just call me?"

"Nothing. Anyway, I'll see you later."

"You too." She hangs up before I can get the chance to do it first.

*********

By the time I've made it to the Big Donut, Ruby's already there waiting for me. Pearl and Rose are with her, and so's Peri. Pearl casts loving glances at Rose, the chubby object of her affections sitting pretty as she pleases. Peri, meanwhiles, fiddles around with her camcorder in an attempt to get a good shot and hopes for the best.

"Hey, guys," I greet with elation the minute I step inside. "How are you?"

"Oh, we've just been chillin'," Ruby responds. "We're waiting for Lars and Sadie to get back from their break, right, guys?"

"Yeah, pretty much," Peri says while focusing only on her camcorder. "Lapis was supposed to meet us here, too, but she was running late so we took off without her."

"It's such a shame, too..." Pearl sighs. "I think it might've had to do with Jasper. I have to admit, it must be absolutely terrible for Lapis to have to endure Jasper wailing on her like she does. Then again, Lapis isn't exactly weak and helpless, either. She can't throw punches like Jasper can, but goddamn can she destroy you with her words."

"Yeah, it is pretty terrible when you think about it," Rose says. "I mean, she's so young and bright. She doesn't deserve any of that shit Jasper's putting her through."

"Well, what's she supposed to do?" Ruby can't help but ask. "Just lie there and take it? That's what a doormat would do, but she's not a doormat."

"Well, she may not be a doormat," I interject. "But she is a victim and she needs to-"

We're so caught up in discussing our friend's situation that we don't even notice her presence until she clears her throat.

"Nyoko!" I gasp. "There you are. We were starting to wonder where you'd been."

Lapis scoffs at this. "Yeah, sure you were," she says dryly. "Thanks for ditching me, assholes. I so appreciated you leaving me to have to fend off creepy old men."

I get up and motion her to embrace me. "Come on now. It's okay. You've been through a lot, but we'll help you through this."

"Fuck off. I'm not in the mood for your after-school special bullshit."

"Don't be rude, Nyoko. We're just trying to help-" A wave of nausea rushes over me before I can finish, and I have to hold myself back from puking on her. "Ah, dammit, not now..."

"Sapphire?" Ruby asks me out of concern. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I fib. "It's just nerves, I guess."

I hate having to lie to her, especially like this, but I have to find myself some time to get ahold of a pregnancy test before I can tell her anything. As long as I can run out the clock, though, I think I can hold her off.

"I know what you mean, man," Ruby says with a smirk. "I tend to get that feeling all the time before a big game, but I don't think I've ever felt nauseous before. Or maybe it's because of the adrenaline rush..." Suddenly, her eyes widen. She stops what she's doing and cranes her neck towards the window. "Oh man... oh God oh man... oh God oh man! OH GOD OH MAN!"

"W-W-What is it?" I ask as my voice falters.

Pearl hesitantly makes her way over to the window and gasps. "It's Jasper! Lapis, you've got to hide!"

"Uh, why?" Lapis asks snidely. "All I have to do to bring her down is 'destroy her with my words.' That's what you call it, right?"

"Would you just stop with that attitude? You sound like a spoiled high school student."

"I am a high school student, and you don't need to talk to me like that. Only my parents can talk to me like that."

"You don't even- ugh, forget it. Just hide behind the counter or something."

"Fine." Lapis proceeds to do as Pearl says. "Just a heads up, though: Jasper also plays football so don't try to talk shit to her or she might kill you."

"Like I'm going to let that happen-" But Jasper has already come in before Pearl can say any more. "Oh, hello, Jasper. What do you want this time?"

"I was just wondering where Lapis might've run off to again. You didn't happen to see her, did you?"

"No, of course not. Why do you care so much about where she goes?"

"Oh my God," Peri whispers to herself while she starts recording. "This is going to be good."

"Peri, what are you doing?" Rose whispers back.

"Ssshhh, this would make a great scene for a movie."

"Peri, this is serious. Save the filming for when nothing life-threatening is about to happen."

"No can do, Rose. This is what every filmmaker strives for."

What happens next is kind of a blur to me, but Jasper shoves Pearl down a few times, only for Pearl to get right back up every time. There seems to be a bit of an argument between them, but it never escalates into anything intense and heated (or at least I don't think it does). Eventually, Jasper gets sick of Pearl's bullshit and just storms off, never once looking back at us.

"Hot damn!" Peri exclaims. "I thought shit was about to go down. Good thing I got it all on tape."

Just as Peri has said this, Lapis comes back out from behind the counter and removes the lens cap from Peri's camcorder. "Looks like you forgot to take the lens cap off, Miss Stanley Kubrick," she mocks while holding it in plain sight.

"Oh!" Peri cries in anguish and frustration. "I don't believe it! All that incredible footage, gone!"

Everybody else laughs at this and I do too. It's nice to get some levity out after that argument between Pearl and Jasper. Suddenly, Ruby pulls me aside and says, "They don't know that we know they know we know!"

I raise an eyebrow at this. "About what?" I ask playfully.

"Uh... I don't know."

I can't help but laugh at that. She's definitely a dork, alright.


	8. Chapter 8

So I've just told Ruby that I'm pregnant, but I can't find it in me to tell my parents. I'm more concerned about how my father might act about the baby not having a father than anything else, but I can always count on my mother to keep my most intimate secrets. That's how it's been my whole life and I should hope it stays that way. So why can't I just tell her?

Anyway, once I get home, the first thing I do is head straight for the shower and turn it on. As I let the water sprinkle over my naked body, I just close my eyes and think back to when Ruby and I had made love for the first time. Once again, I have to remind myself just how godly Ruby looks with her narrow hips, her round fleshed out breasts, her beefy arms and legs, and her bandaged hands. Damnit, Sapphire, you gotta keep yourself under control. I'm so not ready for them to find out about us, not in the slightest. Who knows what might happen then? Besides, it's kind of fun having a secret or two, but I gotta wonder how long I'll be able to keep this up.

I rub my hands all over my stomach. I still can't believe I have a person growing inside me, a little person that's part me and part her. I know I don't look pregnant right now, but soon I'll start sporting a little bump and I'll know that I'm going to give birth to the future. Jeez, that sounded corny as all get-out. Oh well, Ruby probably would've said the same thing.

My daydreaming comes to an abrupt end when I hear someone knocking at my door. It doesn't take me but a second to figure out it's my mother. I wonder what she might want from me.

"Sapphire?" she calls out to me.

"Yeah, Mom?" I call back.

"I was collecting your trash for the garbage man and I couldn't help but notice that there was a pregnancy test sitting at the bottom."

"H-How did that get in there?"

"I don't know, but it was positive."

"So?"

"Sapphire, a-a-are you _pregnant?"_

I'm trapped. If I lie and tell her no, she'll figure it out from my symptoms. If I tell her the truth, she might kill me. It's a double-edged sword. Ultimately, I decide to go with the easier choice and tell her everything. I start from the beginning and work my way through. Once I'm done, I wait for her response, but nothing seems to come. The silence continues for a good four minutes until she finally starts to speak again.

"I have no idea how I'm supposed to feel," she says. "What am I supposed to do now?"

"You tell me." I get out of the shower to wrap a towel around myself and then wrap another around my hair. "I still have no idea whether to tell Dad or not. Oh God, I hope he doesn't kill me."

"I hope so, too. I'm not so sure he'd take you seeing another woman so well."

Suddenly, there's a loud banging at my bedroom door, like someone just smacked their head with such force that it cracked their skull open. It flies open to reveal my father, a stocky swarthy man with black thick glasses who towers over me and Mom. I creak my bathroom door open a bit to get a good look (well, as good of a look as I can get), but I shrink back just in case.

"She's what?!" he screams at the top of his lungs.

"Dad, please!" I cry with a hushed tremble in my voice. "It's not how it sounds!"

"What she said," is all my mother can say.

"Yoko, why didn't you tell me that our daughter has been dating another woman? Are you okay with her having a girlfriend?"

"Oh no no no no no no no no, she's not like an _a-a-actual_ girlfriend," she tries to fib while stuttering at the same time. "She's more of a, uh uh, gal pal of sorts."

"Bullshit. A gal pal wouldn't just have sex with a girl and then knock her up."

"Yes, she would, especially if they were very _close_ gal pals..."

I try to sneak away as fast as I can, hoping that Dad won't notice me while I make my escape.

"Where do you think you're going, you little bitch?" I can hear him growl through his teeth. Oh shit, he's just spotted me.

He grabs me by the arm and proceeds to drag me from the bathroom all the way to the kitchen.

"I'm going to ask you this only once..." he starts to speak. "Are you or are you not dating another woman?"

"I'm not, Daddy!" I weep fearfully for my life. "I'm not dating any other girls, I swear!"

"I know you're lying to me, you cunt. Don't lie to me. I know you've been seeing another girl! I know you're a faggot!"

"No, I _haven't!_ I'm not dating any other girls! I'm not dating any other girls! I'm not dating any other girls! I'm not dating any other girls!"

"Well then, I guess you leave me with no other choice..."

But before I can explain myself, he's already knocked me to the ground. Oh God, I hope he doesn't get my stomach! I don't know what I'll do if Daddy kills the baby! He starts stomping down on my shoulders, my arms, my chest, pretty much everywhere that isn't my stomach. He pounds on me with all his might, hoping to "beat the gay" out of me even if it kills me. I want to fight back, but at the same time I don't want to. He's my father, my own flesh and blood, but he's putting our lives in danger. I cry for him to stop, but he won't listen. Soon, everything goes black.

******

Some time passes, and I wake up to find myself in a hospital room. I don't know how I got here or why. I don't even know if what just happened was a dream or not. Hell, I don't even know if this is a dream or I just died and made it to the afterlife. I start panicking and screaming for someone to get me out of here, hoping that I'll wake up and just be back in my room with no bruises or broken bones. Nothing happens, but I keep screaming until I spot my pale-faced mother coming towards me. She places a finger over my mouth and shushes me.

"M-Mom?" I choke out. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to apologize for what happened," she replies.

"You did? Aw, you don't have to do that."

"But I do. None of this would've happened if I hadn't said anything." She breaks down and starts crying. "It's my fault your father almost killed you. I don't know how he heard about you being- pardon my French -'a faggot,' but he did and I wish I could've stopped him."

"Me too, Mom, but it's not your fault he almost killed me. It's _mine."_

She softly gasps. "Sapphire, how can you say that? All you've done is fall in love with another girl, but that doesn't mean you deserve to be punished for it. I mean, if someone feels they were meant to be a different gender than the one they were born as, then that's how they should live. I know this sounds cliche, but for some reason, people tend to hate anything that's different from them."

"I know you're trying to help, Mom, but I'm not in the mood for a motivational speech right now. Why don't you just go home?"

"I can't. Well, we can't. Your father kicked us out."

"Wait, you mean we're _homeless?!"_

"Yep." She places her hand over my stomach. "Looks like you and Sweetpea will have to go live with Ruby now."

"What about you, Mom?"

"Oh, don't worry about me. I'll find a way to survive out in the streets somehow."


	9. Chapter 9

The day has finally come for me to check out of the hospital and to part ways with my mother. I don't think I'll ever be able to forget this day because I know this might be the last time we cross paths with one another. Hell, just thinking about it makes me feel like my heart is going to tear itself in half. My mother has no choice but to live out there, all alone and struggling to stay alive, all because of me. It's my own damn fault she might die out on the streets.

She looks so pasty and gaunt that I can't even begin to imagine how much more she'll have to lose before she dies, her weight or spirit or God knows what. How long might it be until I can no longer recognize her face? How long might it take until her long, silky black hair turns to ash? How long might she see until her dark almond-shaped eyes cloud up and she can't see anymore? I feel like I'm losing my mind.

"Mom, you still have a choice," I tell her. "You could live with me until you get back on your feet. Are you sure you want to do this?"

She solemnly nods her head. "It's for the best, sweetie. You have your whole life ahead of you and I'm afraid I might just hold you back. Besides, you and Ruby are going to be wonderful parents."

"Y-You really think so?"

"I know so." She tries to hold back some tears but she can't. "Goodbye, my Laffy Sapphy. I love you..."

"I love you too, Mom... I'm going to miss you so much."

"Me too, but I'll always be with you. Good luck."

She turns her back on me and starts walking off to her new destination, wherever it may be. Once I'm certain she's out of my line of sight, tears begin to form in my eyes and there's no way I can stop them. Now what? If my aunt Maya finds out about Ruby and the baby, she'll see to it that my singing career never takes off and nobody at her record company will want anything to do with me. My life is over.

No, my life isn't over. It's just getting started. So what if my dreams are about to be crushed because of who I am? I've still got the rest of my life to look forward to. I've got to be strong for the two most important people in my life, not just myself.

***************

The first thing I do when I arrive at Ruby's doorstep is knock loudly enough that she can hear me. A few seconds go by, and nothing seems to happen. Where could she be? God, I hope she opens up. Soon, my worries go away when her face comes into view.

"Hey, Sapphire," she says with a cute little smile.

"Hey," I reply.

"I thought you were at home. What are you doing here?"

"Well, my dad kicked me and Mom out when he found out about you guys. I don't really know where else to go, so here I am."

Ruby's eyes widen at this. "Oh my God... that's terrible. You can stay with me until you get back on your feet."

"Thanks, Rube."

"Did you just call me Rube?"

"Yeah... is that alright with you?"

She falls silent for a minute or two before replying, "I-I guess. Why don't you come inside and meet my roommate?"

"Your roommate?"

"Yeah, she moved in with me a couple weeks ago. I guess I should've told you about her earlier, but she tends to travel around a lot with her job and all, so it's not like it'd even matter."

"Don't worry. I totally understand."

I follow her inside to her place, and almost immediately I'm met with flamboyance and chattiness. Ruby's roommate moves so dramatically and bombastically that she completely defies what I might've expected out of her. She has brown skin like her, only it has more of a maroon hue to it. Plus, she has strawberry blonde hair like Pearl's, but it's so tightly curled that it more or less resembles an afro that's been shaped into a triangle. Her nose is upturned and pointy, her eyes are a deep dark brown, and her thick lips are accompanied by a small gap in her teeth.

"Hi, you must be Ruby's roommate," I start off.

"I sure am!" she replies in a sing-song voice.

"So... she just told me you travel a lot. What do you think that makes you?"

"Worldly?" Her laughter sounds like a machine gun firing every bullet it has at once, but she soon calms down. She bows with a subdued smile and extends her hand at my direction. "Sarah Donovan-Nixon, at your service."

I reach my hand out to touch hers, but she quickly grips it before I can and boy is her grip strong. "Sapphire Dahl, nice to meet you."

"Same here, Sapphire. What brings you here?"

"Well, my dad found out that I'm gay and he threw me and Mom out of the house, so here I am."

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry to hear that. It must've been rough having to hide in the closet like that."

I let out a nervous chuckle at this. "Yeah, it sure was. I'm sure your parents are much nicer than mine are."

"Well..." She trails off for a minute or two. "I wish I could agree with you, but unfortunately it wasn't like that."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, let's just say my mom forced me to exist so I could be the reason my parents stayed together. Of course, I'm going by what my dad told me so it's possible they could be more to it than that."

"You mean...?"

"Yes, according to him, I was a Band-Aid baby."

"Oh my God... how the hell can you even live with that?"

"A positive attitude and lots of denial?"

I freeze up, trying to figure out what to say next before I glance over to see Ruby wildly gesturing towards the kitchen. I think she can tell what I'm thinking, but I can't be too sure so I have to come with her. I follow her into the kitchen and we start talking sotto voce.

"Look, I know it's hard," Ruby begins to say. "But I think we'll be okay."

"You think or you know?" I ask while raising an eyebrow.

Ruby sighs heavily at this. "Sapphire, if we're going to make this relationship work, we'll have to do a lot of growing up not just for ourselves, but for our baby. I mean, have you seen how scary the world is? Black people are being murdered for no good reason, rape culture won't die, people are driven to suicide over stupid shit on the Internet, and worst of all, we LGBT folk have to pretend to be somebody we're not just so we won't be shunned by our families. If we're going to bring a kid into this kind of world, we have to be ready for anything."

"I know, Ruby, I know. It is a scary place out there, but at least we'll have each other."


	10. Chapter 10

A few months have gone by since I came to live with Ruby and her roommate Sarah. We've just found out that we're expecting a girl, and to be honest, neither of us could've been happier. I mean, I know we made a promise that we'd love our child no matter what sex it was, but to hear that we're going to have a little girl... well, words cannot describe how I'm feeling right about now. It's absolutely ineffable. Now we just have to get ready and wait until she gets here. In the meantime, however, we've got some pretty important shit to do.

Anyway, I can't help but notice how big I'm getting. My boobs are like C-cups now and my stomach's grown to be the size of a cantaloupe, which doesn't really sound huge but still. By this point in time, I've started to feel the baby move and boy is she active. I have a feeling Ruby and I are going to have a little fighter on our hands. Now if only we could agree on a name for her...

Right now, Ruby and I are just waltzing through Beach City, preparing to make our way to the Big Donut again. I've heard from a friend of a friend that the Big Donut gives out free donuts to expecting mothers. Naturally, we've been taking advantage of this every chance we get.

Sadie is the first one to greet us when we make our entrance. Her short blonde hair is in a messy bun, her milky-white skin is spotted with a few freckles here and there, and as usual her short stocky body is dressed in a purple shirt and jeans.

"This is the fourth time this week you've come here," she observes. "You want anything in particular?"

"Oh, you know, the usual," I answer absentmindedly while leaning on Ruby for support. "A box of donuts, all cream-filled and topped with chocolate. You know how much this baby loves chocolate."

"Yes I do, Sapphire." She contorts her body towards the back door. "Hey, Lars! I need a box of cream-filled donuts topped with chocolate over here!"

"How about I give you my cream-filled donut?" a voice asks seductively from the back.

"Just get the donuts, Lars. We've got a pregnant lady out here."

"Alright, alright."

Soon, we see him come out from the back and make his way towards the counter. As usual, he reminds me of a used-up toilet brush with how his curly fiery-red mohawk stands out atop his head. Today, instead of his usual gauges, he's wearing silver dreamcatchers with feathers that hang down by tiny metal chains from the other side; he tries so hard to look like a fucking hipster so of course, he'd wear those things. I reach my hand out to touch the chains dangling from his gauges, but he slaps it out of the way.

"Hey, watch it, dude!" Ruby yells at him.

"Your girlfriend's the one who reached out, dude!" Lars yells back.

"Hey, hey, hey," Sadie speaks out. "Why don't we all calm down and just give the ladies their donuts, huh?"

"Fine, whatever," Lars mumbles under his breath. "See if I give a shit..."

After that debacle, Ruby and I proceed to make our way towards a table, hopefully one that will have room for me and my growing stomach. However, just as we're about to settle in, Lapis runs through the doors as though there's someone or something after her.

"Nyoko!" I exclaim in utter shock. "What are you doing here?"

"Hide me!" she yells out.

"What's going on now?" Ruby asks out of curiosity.

"No time to explain," Lapis says. "Just hide me!"

"Wait a minute... is this about... Jasper?"

"Just hide me, dammit!"

But before we can help her out, Jasper forces herself inside like the brute that she is. I can definitely see why even Ruby, the most cocky woman I've ever gotten to known, is afraid of her and my girl never shows that kind of fear around anybody.

I can't help but sigh as we prepare ourselves for the usual routine. "What is it now, Jasper?"

"I want to know why Lapis came down here," Jasper growls through her teeth.

"Uh, no offense, but it's not really any of your business," Sadie butts in. "If she wants to come here all the time, she can."

"Fuck off, you ugly blonde cow," Jasper breathes at her. "You make me sick."

Suddenly and without warning, Lapis flips out her middle finger at her girlfriend. We can't help but stare at this brazen move she's made. It's enough to piss her off and start throwing punches at her, but of course, she does her best to dodge them.

"You won't get away with this, you fucking moron!" Lapis is then met with a fist slamming into the side of her face. She drops to the ground, her nose skewered out of place and bleeding. She looks up at Jasper, her eyes wide with terror and profusely tearing up from the pain. "You musclebound cunt! What the hell is wrong with you? How do you go on like this? How can you stand yourself?!"

Jasper doesn't respond and proceeds to kick her all around as though she's a ragdoll. We eventually lose count of how much blood is on the ground. She gets up and tries to stand against her towering girlfriend, much to our surprise, but she keeps swaying back and forth. We worry she might fall over again. Fortunately, one of us catches her just in time for a tall, brown-skinned woman with bleach-blonde hair to come onto the scene.

"Ah, shit," I can hear Jasper muttering to herself. "It's that stupid klutz Alexandra. She'll want to know what the hell's going on. I'm getting out of here."

And just as Jasper leaves, Alexandra walks in and sits next to us. She appears to be fidgety with the way her body twitches about, and she mumbles out random unorganized thoughts that only she seems to understand. Yeah, I can definitely see why Jasper wouldn't want any part of her, but at the same time, I can't help but sympathize with her as well. As I look closer, I can't help but notice that her face is like the night sky, so much so that you can almost trace out the constellations with her star-like freckles.

"Hey, Alexandra," Lapis nonchalantly greets her as if she just didn't get the shit beaten out of her. "What's happening today?"

But all Alexandra can answer with is a grunt and a shrug. She doesn't seem like much of a talker, that much I can tell, and she's not much for socialization either. It seems like she just... exists.

"Really?" Lapis asks again. "Nothing at all? Not even your plants?"

It's at that moment that Alexandra suddenly lights up. "What about them? You want me to show you my African violets again?"

"Uh... yeah, sure. Why don't we just stay here for a bit and have some donuts first, okay?"

"Okay."


End file.
